MW 'I don't earn enough to support us and our baby': My husband is unemployed and lost $22,000 trading sports cards. What now?

By Quentin Fottrell

'I intervened, shut the business down and got him into therapy and support for gambling-type behaviors'

"I don't earn enough to fully support both of us and our baby, and his unemployment benefits barely cover our utilities." (Photo subject is a model.)

Dear Quentin,

When I was eight months pregnant, my husband started a business reselling sports cards.

He did this without my knowledge and ended up spending $22,000, including money from our joint savings. Shortly afterwards, he was laid off during company-wide cuts. I intervened, shut the business down and got him into therapy and support for gambling-type behaviors.

We are now left with significant debt - he also has ongoing credit-card issues - and leftover inventory from the sports-card business. I don't earn enough to fully support us and our baby, and his unemployment benefits barely cover our utilities.

I'm looking for advice on the fastest and most practical way to liquidate the remaining sports-card inventory - ideally without him being involved in the selling process - and any other steps we should take to stabilize our finances quickly.

The Wife

Don't miss: My wife's credit-card payment is three months overdue. As an authorized user, am I in trouble?

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

The credit-card debt also raises questions about motivation and accountability.

Dear Wife,

Don't underestimate the pressure a new baby and secret debt will put on you.

I'd like to introduce your husband to the 11th Major Arcana tarot card. This is the Justice card, representing truth, fairness and accountability. Illustrated with a scale and sword, it portrays the need to achieve equilibrium. But before we get to that, I understand that you want to help clean up his mess.

The answer to your question is simple enough: Put the cards on eBay $(EBAY)$, Facebook Marketplace (META) or a specialized reseller like WhatNot, Check Out My Cards or SportsCardsPro. Carry out an inventory of the cards and rate them by value, and check previous sales to make sure you're not underpricing them. Take quality photos of the cards and set yourself a goal of uploading a certain number per week to make the process less cumbersome. You could also reach out to dealers or consigners to see if they'll offer you a price for a bunch of cards.

You have to be a parent to both your baby and your husband until he figures out why this happened. Freeze or limit his credit access and contact creditors to request hardship plans. The bigger question, as you are no doubt aware, is what you are going to do about your husband. Losing his job at the same time as he incurred $22,000 in debt over a secretive sports-card trading business may just be bad timing, but I can't help feeling like the two events are related. I don't want to add insult to financial injury, but something has got to change.

Launching a business without your knowledge when you were about to give birth takes some chutzpah. With unemployment and a baby, you may qualify for assistance programs like the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC), the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), utility-assistance programs or childcare and health subsidies.

The cost of raising a baby in the first year can be anywhere from $15,000 to $35,000, depending on where you live. In addition to childcare costs - which you should at least not have to pay while your husband is out of work - there's diapers, baby formula, sanitary products, clothing and countless trips to the doctor's office. Your husband has picked quite a time to land you both in doo-doo.

Related: My husband secretly gives our daughter, 37, thousands of dollars. She spends the money wildly. How do I stop this?

Figuring out his motivation

If it sounds like I'm being harsh toward your husband, that's because I am being harsh, and with good reason. He will only come face to face with the 11th Major Arcana if he truly feels the full impact of his actions, and I don't think he should be let off the hook, if only because you want to prevent this from happening again.

The credit-card debt also raises questions about motivation and accountability. I don't know why he did what he did, or why he chose to do it behind your back. Was it due to fear of financial insecurity? Bravado and a false sense of confidence? A desire to escape his anxieties? Whatever the answer, it would not hurt for him to enter a 12-step program for debt.

Financial infidelity is at least as damaging to a marriage and a couple's livelihood as other kinds of secrecy and unfaithfulness. While polls suggest that more than 40% of couples say they have experienced financial infidelity, there's a big difference between not divulging a bank account or a work-related bonus and setting up a business on the sly.

When you can, start paying down the debt, focusing on the card with the highest interest rate first. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling is a nonprofit organization that can help you and your husband put together a budget and a realistic plan to pay off your debt, and American Consumer Credit Counseling is another nonprofit that helps people in your predicament get back on their feet.

You can also try to renegotiate the debt with the credit-card company by speaking with the debt-settlement or hardship department. (Customer service won't necessarily be equipped to deal with reducing debts.) Tell them that you are calling them as an alternative to declaring bankruptcy, which will help demonstrate that you are serious about paying off the debt.

If this happens again, we need to have a separate conversation about what kind of future you want for yourself. The threat of financial ruin due to a partner's repeated malfeasance, recklessness or gambling addiction can be as stressful as the first knock on the door from a debt collector.

Related: My dad left when I was 9, reconnected with me in my 50s and now needs money. What do I owe him?

More columns from Quentin Fottrell:

'I spend $7,500 a month': I'm 47, earn $260K, and have $3 million. Can I retire at 50?

Can I stop my kids from using their inheritance to support political causes I oppose?

My stepmother cheated me out of $500K from my father's estate. What can I do?

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-Quentin Fottrell

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March 02, 2026 08:11 ET (13:11 GMT)

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