By Dan Neil

Russell Crowe's portrayal of Nazi leader Hermann Göring in the film "Nuremberg" is brilliant but incomplete. Little is made of Goering's outrageous personal style: the power-blue Reichsmarschall's uniform, the fur-lined capes, the diamond encrusted badges and batons, the face makeup. Göring's sartorial choices raised suspicions among both the Allies and Nazi high command that he was homosexual.

He wasn't, apparently. A later generation of sociologists might have diagnosed Göring's martial flamboyance as a form of "homeovestism" -- that is, exaggerated and often impractical gender-normative dress or behavior intended to signal elite social status. Although the term is clinically obsolete, examples of male peacocking are as close as the nearest bejeweled Patek Philippe, sterling-silver rodeo belt buckle or jumped-up, gold-plated pickup.

Our guest this week was born of sturdy peasant stock, with a heavy-duty frame, four-wheel driveline, two-speed transfer case, 10-speed automatic, all-terrain tires and a big ole V8 engine. By the time it reached final inspection it had acquired a cloak of ruby-red metallic paint, diamond-white LED headlamps and a mouthful of metal grillework as bright as a tea service. The powered, dark-tinted rear window, dual-panel sunroof, cargo bed tonneau and other status-y upsells added $21,085 to the tribute.

My first thought: That's gorgeous, George. All the other roofing contractors are going to be jelly. But, obviously, Mr. Majestic is too well dressed to be of any use, off road. In the field, those 20-inch black-painted aluminum wheels wouldn't stay pretty for long; those running boards would have the life expectancy of a fruit fly.

My second thought: boats -- big ones. In my part of the world, heavy-duty pickups often work weekends, hauling the entrepreneurial class's pleasure boats to and from the coast. With a towing capacity of 17,800 pounds, our fancy friend could trailer a minisub and not even feel it.

Grab hold of something and hoist yourself aboard. It smells real nice in there. Perhaps a hint of lavender in Ford's new-car spritz? Because heavy-duty pickups don't change much, year to year, most of the updates occur in the cabin. This year, Ford is very excited about the truck's 5G wi-fi comms, enabling over-the-air updates and other services.

But the big news is what's old: the continuing availability of Ford's high-output 7.3-liter V8, a naturally aspirated, pushrod actuated, gas-guzzling anachronism nicknamed Godzilla. Introduced in 2019, it was the first pushrod V8 Ford built in nearly 20 years.

Talk about going back to the drawing board. Apart from the electronic fuel ignition and other digital bits, this engine is practically identical to the beast my father winched into his Ford F-100 pickup in the 1970s. As was the observed fuel economy, averaging around 14 mpg. What's up with that?

The argument for the paleo V8 runs thusly: In the past two decades, emission and fuel-economy requirements forced pickup manufacturers to downsize engines and increase complexity, using turbocharging, variable cam phasing, direct fuel injection and other means to squeeze more efficient power out of fewer cc's.

But as a generation of buyers can attest, these hard-revving little gassers suffered a host of maintenance, reliability and durability issues. The last decade has been particularly hard on Ford buyers, who have endured a string of recalls affecting the "EcoBoost" 2.0-liter, 2.7-liter and 3.0-liter engines, 10-speed automatic transmissions and other mission-critical components. Let me take a moment here to say, recalls suck.

Godzilla is made of sterner stuff: a deep-skirted cast-iron block, forged steel crankshaft and oil-cooled pistons, churning and burning with 485 lb-ft of torque at 4,000 rpm -- no turbocharging, cam phasing, cylinder deactivation or other common failure points. With a single, in-block cam, one timing chain and two valves per cylinder, Godzilla is so primitive it's practically primeval.

When, last year, Congress suspended fuel economy penalties for light vehicles, Ford could afford to sell more of its larger, thirstier, more robust V8s. In model-year 2023, Godzilla got a baby brother, a 6.8-liter V8 (405 hp/445 lb-ft). For heavy haulers, Ford offers a pair of 6.7-liter turbodiesel engines, one standard (475 hp/1,050 lb-ft), the other high output (500 hp/1,200 lb-ft).

Driving the F-250 around town doesn't make me feel any more superior, per se. The sight of me hopping down from the driver's seat has real Greg Bovino energy. The most welcome technologies are those that help me contend with the lane-spanning width. A shoutout to the "Lane Centering" driver-assist system for keeping me squarely between the lines.

Considering the huge values in play, the F-250's roadholding manners are benign. The tall off-road tires wobble about some. The best thing you could do for the ride quality is to shovel a half-ton of snow in the cargo bed. Braking distances are horrifying but at least predictable.

It's obnoxiously tall. Standing just shy of seven feet, with 9.2 inches of ground clearance, the lifted F-250 aims its LED headlights directly in the eyes of many motorists, who angrily toggle their high beams back at you. Sorry, friend, those are the low beams.

As for Godzilla, it snores like a kitten. Ford's buyers shouldn't have to choose between efficiency and durability, but they do and that's on Ford. Considering what awaits them in dealership service bays, I understand why consumers would want to future-proof their sanity with the rock-ribbed V8.

If well maintained, Godzilla could live 20 years or more. Of course by that time the sequins and rhinestones would have fallen off our test truck. It might have acquired a crack in that mighty windshield by then, a rumpled bumper, a dent in the door, mismatched mudders.

That's more my style.

2026 Ford F-250 Super Duty 4×4 Crew Cab Lariat

Base price: $65,540

Price, as tested: $88,270

Powertrain: 7.3-liter naturally aspirated OHV V8; 10-speed automatic transmission with two-speed transfer case; on-demand four-wheel drive with limited-slip front and rear differentials

Power/torque: 430 hp at 5,500 rpm/485 lb-ft at 4,000 rpm

Length/wheelbase/width/height: 250.0/159.7/105.9/81.6 inches

Curb weight: 6,480 pounds

Gross vehicle weight rating: 10,500 pounds

Towing capacity: 17,800 pounds

EPA fuel economy: not available

Cargo box volume: 65.4 cubic feet

(END) Dow Jones Newswires

February 06, 2026 14:00 ET (19:00 GMT)

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