MW 'I'm 15 years older': My second wife says she will pass my estate onto my sons. What could go wrong?

By Quentin Fottrell

'My wife is probably one of the most honest persons I've ever known'

Dear Quentin,

I'm 15 years older than my second wife. I have two adult sons from my first marriage. I have assets of about $1 million. I was planning to leave everything to my second wife with the understanding that with her passing all will be evenly shared by my two sons.

My sons are successful in their areas of business and don't need my money, although one is still trying to buy his first house, and it's quite difficult. The other son is married with two children.

My wife is probably one of the most honest persons I've ever known. I've trusted that she will carry out our plan. Am I being naive and do I need to spell out my intentions in a trust or is there some other less complicated and costly means to do so?

The Husband

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Dear Husband,

Promises are better made with the presence of an attorney.

The pages of this column are littered with readers who trusted their spouse - only to regret it. Make sure you have a will and up-to-date beneficiary designations on all of your bank accounts, life-insurance policies and brokerage accounts. You may wish to split these equally between your wife and two sons and, thereby, avoid probate.

You can also leave your home, assuming it's in your name only, to your second wife as a life estate, meaning she will get to live in it for the remainder of her years and will be responsible for maintaining the property and paying the property taxes. Upon her death, the house will then be left to your sons to sell as they wish.

Some states have "homestead" laws. Texas is a community-property state, so anything you purchased prior to your marriage is separate property. The surviving spouse has the right to occupy the homestead for the remainder of their life, even if it is separate property or gifted to a third party. At your death, your sons would take possession of the property.

Marital trusts are increasingly popular for blended families to pass assets to a surviving spouse and protect children's inheritance from previous marriages, says the Law Offices of Glenn Busch in New York. "If one or both spouses in a second marriage have children from a prior marriage, both spouses typically want to ensure that their kids get an inheritance."

Benefit of marital trusts

"While most married couples prioritize their spouse as the primary beneficiary, after the surviving spouse passes away, if the couple's estate plan gives everything directly to the surviving spouse, that arrangement would run the risk that the children from a prior marriage of the deceased spouse would be cut off from receiving an inheritance," the law firm adds.

Case in point: This reader who said his stepmother remarried after his father's death. "She acted as a mother to me growing up and we had a reasonably good relationship," he wrote. "She now has no interest in giving my brother and me anything. Her intention is to bequeath her properties and investments to her current new husband and her nieces and nephews."

As I told him, marital trusts are key for blended families so each spouse ensures that their respective children are taken care of if one of them dies. A stepmother or stepfather may promise their spouse and stepchildren the world while both parties are living but, as the pages of this column can attest, they can have a swift U-turn upon the death of their spouse.

Marital trusts can also distribute funds based on need. If one child decides to go to college, the trust can provide for that. If another child falls off the wagon and needs rehab, the trust could fund that too (or not). The tax benefits are also significant and help a significantly higher portion of your estate pass to your children tax-free.

Whatever you decide, don't leave your estate plan to chance.

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You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell:My husband will inherit $180K. I think we should invest the money. He wants to pay off his $168K mortgage. Who's right?

'I'm at a loss': My boyfriend of nearly 10 years is naming his elderly parents as beneficiaries and giving them power of attorney. Am I right to be upset?

'We have no prenuptial agreement': Will my wife be able to take my money if I transfer it to my retirement account?

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-Quentin Fottrell

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April 23, 2025 13:25 ET (17:25 GMT)

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